Wednesday, May 10, 2017


Shivers of satisfaction tremble down Joshua’s soft, supple body as he presses enter. The comment has been posted. His chapped lips crack into a smirk, satisfied with himself after yet another productive day of projecting his issues onto strangers on the internet.

Leaning back on his ergonomic office chair, he gently closes his eyelids as his right hand finds the cold, hard zipper on his blue jeans. Blood pulses from his big, juicy intelligent brain down to his less impressive but still functioning penis as he thinks back on his clever comment. “What are you, 12?” the 38 year old American man chuckles at his own genius. He’s smug, and so he should be. Slowly pulling the zipper down, he reaches in to pull out his half erect member. “I can only assume your dumbass messed this relationship up!” And it’s true, he could only assume that this random girl almost half his age on the other side of the world had messed her relationship up. After all, there was no follow up!

The words ‘dumbass’ and ‘relationship’ begin to repeat over & over in his fedora clad cranium. Joshua tries to remember what it’s like to be young and in love. Oh, to be young... AND in love! Struggling tremendously with both, tears begin to well behind his eyelids as his repressed emotions start to surface. He’s sad, he’s lonely, and he’s horny as fuck. The veins on his now fully erect penis pulse with fiery enthusiasm that his shriveled heart could never muster.

Hot, salty tears being to run from his beautiful brown eyes like a busted water pipe. His brow furrows & lips tremble trying not to ugly sob too loudly, as he doesn’t want to wake his neighbours up yet again. Gathering the liquid by wiping his face with his left hand, he proceeds to lube the head of his penis with the tears. Stroking the vascular shaft, he lets out a weird noise somewhere between a moan & a groan from the physical pleasure & emotional pain.

Tears continue to fall as he puts the rest of his built up anger into furiously beating his meat to a flaccid pulp, but not before he ejaculates onto his beloved keyboard. After his 6th self indulgent orgasm of the night, Joshua strips of his sweaty clothes and slumps into bed. His face looks so peaceful dreaming of what we can only assume is endless days of commenting & crywanking.

Goodnight, sweet prince.


  1. Considering that this was almost a year ago and that you never followed up, I can only assume that your dumbass messed this relationship up. Ha ha! Classic.
    Word vomit is right!
    P.S. congrats on flying to a different state BY YOURSELF! What a weird brag. What are you, 12?

    1. We just celebrated our one year!! Thanks for the well wishes Joshua! Take care mate x

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